Today we Celebrate Pentecost

Until 2004, Swedes had a day off on Pentecost Monday (Annandag Pingst). Since Pentecost Sunday (Pingstdagen) and Saturday (Pingstafton) is always on the weekend, we are still free during this holiday. However, I’ve never heard of anyone doing anything special this holiday (except getting married), it seems like nobody really knows why it’s there. And to be frank, the majority of Swedes not believing in Christianity, why should we? Either way, here’s why.

Some days after Jesus had been crucified, disappeared from his grave, been witnessed as resurrected and finally ascended to heaven, the holy spirit came down to Earth. It came down looking as cloven tongues made of fire and possessed the apostles and  thus they could speak any language and everyone could understand every language. The descending of the holy spirit is what we celebrate on Pentecost. However, Pentecost means the “50th day”, referring to the Jewish tradition of Shavuot which occurred 50 days after Passover, the celebration of the Jews escaping to Israel  from Egyptian slavery. Christianity is a Jewish religion since Jesus was a Jew, but disregarding this, what the smoke is the holy spirit?

The holy spirit is God’s sperm. It contains half a DNA-strand of the Supreme Being. The God-half of DNA and the human half of DNA  joined to a complete DNA-molecule inside Mary’s egg cell in the womb. The demi-God cell duplicated itself until it became what looked like a human, but was also divine; a creature called Jesus, the Anointed Lamb. The purpose of the lamb was to be sacrificed, because God would only be pleased by a human sacrifice. I don’t know why this is, maybe God was in some kind of occult club and thought flesh sacrifice was the proper way of confirming contracts. Also, I wonder if the holy spirit came into Mary’s vagina as a cloven tongue of fire, because that’s an icon I’ve never seen.

Anyway, there’s a story behind this sacrifice. God created Adam (which means Earth*) and Eve (life**) and told them not to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Everything. They did eat of it of course, and God, who knew this would happen, punished them with Original Sin. Original Sin means all humans forever are inherently evil, punished to live on Earth for a while and must believe in God to be brought back to Paradise. Then God changed his mind and arranged the killing of the lamb to undo the punishment of Original Sin. Although, I’m not sure how that helped, since you still need to live on Earth and ask forgiveness for your sins anyway to be brought to Paradise. (By the way, and this is off-topic, but why the hell did God create Hell? He’s omniscient and knows what everyone is gonna do and he’s benevolent, yet he knowingly and purposefully creates humans and situations that lead to them being tortured forever. Tortured forever for crimes like “not worshiping him” or thinking your neighbour is sexy or working on a Sunday. Committed by people whom he intentionally created to not know any better and created a world in which every piece of evidence points towards him not existing and therefore only a fool would worship him and consequently go to heaven. He’s the most evil being I’ve ever heard of. Scratch that, he’s mental!)

Of course, what really happened was different. A bunch of people invented a typical creation myth and a typical doomsday prophecy involving a guy called the Messiah. Then a preacher, named Jesus, performed the typical healing trick and was killed. Typically Elvis-style, people saw Jesus after his death and said he was special. Being special made them connect him to the Messiah and being the Messiah, they thought of his death as the counter to the banishment from Eden. Then power-greedy kings spread the religion all the way to Sweden.

*The generic usage in Genesis meaning “mankind” reflects the view that Adam was the ancestor of all men. Etymologically it is the masculine form of the word adamah meaning ground or earth and related to the words adom (red), admoni (ruddy) and dam (blood) -wikipedia

**Genesis 3:20: “And Adam called his wife’s name Ḥawwāh; because she was the mother of all living” (a title previously held by the Babylonian creatrix Tiamat). The name may actually be derived from that of the Hurrian Goddess Kheba, who was shown in the Amarna Letters to be worshipped in Jerusalem during the Late Bronze Age. -wikipedia

I think Joseph Campbell talks about creation myths like Tiamat’s, not sure if I’ve written about it before. Tiamat is “Mother Earth”, the symbol of being, of living, of reproduction, of stability, the circle of life. Then the male God, the symbol of action, change, motion, energy, power, leadership, initiation, creation, kills Tiamat and forms the world with her body and becomes the ruler. (Very patriarchal story.)  In Norse mythology there’s a parallel, slightly different though. There was nothing but fire, ice and a yawning gap between. Fire and ice created life, a cow and a giant. The female cow licked a salt stone and produced milk for the giant Ymer. His sweat became new giants. The stone became a god. The god Buri somehow became grandfather to three Gods, Odin, Vile and Ve, and they killed Ymer and formed the world from his body and Odin becomes the ruler. (Though Tyr was the god king in earlier versions of this religion.)

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